Mindfulness
only 9% can boast of this
- Energy
- Passion
- Self-Regulation
- Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the main source of your calm and wisdom. As applied to your sexuality, it creates a sense of curiosity and excitement.
People see you as a figure of authority and mystery. It is entirely up to you how you will use this image. But in doing so, keep in mind that others tend to look up to and rely on you.
With that, don’t forget that your erotic potential is just simmering below the thin surface of your restraint and respectability. You are well aware of when and how to let it rip, and this is probably why you tend to suppress your sexual urges far too often. Because sex is just a small part of life for you, you pay a lot of attention to other people, contexts, and situations that offer an opportunity for pleasure.
For you, sexual congress is not just the means to scratch an itch: it is a way to find meaning.
Your resource distribution chart
Your energy level
Your sexuality level
Your self-regulation level
Your mindfulness level
Meet your primary strength
You appreciate the simple and natural moments of joy and well-being that make your life full and rich. Sex plays the role of an “icing on the cake,” and you approach it carefully. Health, income, social status, personal and social life – all this creates the harmony and completeness that bring you satisfaction. You enjoy playfulness and passion of sex, but you tend to focus more on other important aspects of life. You know how to satisfy yourself and your partner and understand what brings you pleasure. Your sexual life is stable, and your relationships, even if they are not officially set on paper, are strong.
In your personal and professional life, you have learned to do the right, socially acceptable things, but you still do not know if you actually like it. It seems that your way of life has formed through obediently following the instructions and demands of other people. In sex, this can mean a certain repression of your sensuality, confusion, and infantilism. There are partners out there who enjoy this trait of yours, and if you are married or are in some other more or less committed relationship, your partners are well aware of and have accepted your tendency to want to be led. But it is worth considering whether this situation really suits you. It may seem to you that you are obligated to perform some tedious duty, which neither fully reflects your desires nor arouses you in the least. When sex resembles a job, even a very useful and well-paid one, it is just sad.
Sometimes it seems that certain events in your life happen automatically, as if you had no choice in the matter, and they occurred against your will. Despite your love of chance, your spontaneity, and your ability to go with the flow, this lack of choice can be uncomfortable. In intimate relationships, you sometimes feel doomed, as if you lost your freedom, every time you have to pretend to make a choice in favor of your partner, obey their desires, or play a passive role. At such times, it is easy to confuse your feelings with those of others, and it is very difficult to move towards your own happiness.
Origins and foundations
Your life story is filled with intriguing experiences each of which played its role in making you the sexual being you are today. Even if you haven’t tried absolutely everything there is out there, you may safely consider yourself an expert of your own sexual pleasure.
To be perfectly honest, many extravagant scenarios that you once have dreamed of now do not seem so enticing. You have allowed yourself to focus on a finite number of partners, positions, and exciting accessories that bring you the most pleasure. The feeling of renewal and energy boost after good sex brings you joy and a sense of wellbeing. If no partner is around, you can easily pleasure yourself without feeling that this is a worse, inadequate or sinful option. Prudishness is not your thing, certainly not in bed. You never let anyone’s opinions on yourself or your sex life affect your self-esteem or ruin your pleasure. Simply put, you do not believe that anyone’s opinion matters in such a deeply-personal area as your sexuality.
You know yourself well enough to easily navigate the calm seas of well-deserved wellbeing on a graceful ship of your “nearly attained” sexual dream.
Caring for yourself and others is sexy
You strive to keep yourself and your loved ones in good shape, enjoying comfort. Material well-being affects your sexual drive: luxury brings you joy, but sufficient comfort is a must.
Health and comfort are the essential aspects of your sexual wellness: you do not find “love in a shack” and the uncertainty of the physical setting for sex romantic in the least. To those offering you a quick hook-up, you may sarcastically respond that you are “past that age.” You automatically lead a healthy lifestyle. Healthy and successful people attract your attention as potential sexual partners. You may fantasize about having sex with them, but you never fail to appreciate their social standing, whether it be marriage, parenthood, or friendships. You simply observe those who prefer the hustle and bustle without trying to change or avoid them. You are ready to support your friends and partners in their pursuit of a better life, provided that your contribution will be appreciated and used for establishing and improving their quality of life. You find beauty in thriving, gaining experience, and improving life and respect people who strive for this.
You take people falling in love with you as something natural, something that doesn’t call for mandatory sexual reciprocity. It’s hard for you to just let someone get into your pants, but under certain circumstances, you are, of course, ready for sexual adventures.
The taste of silence
You have learned to appreciate the time of solitude and gaps between meetings. For you, rest and enjoyment are vital in sex. You are becoming a connoisseur and appreciate partners who share your thirst for pleasure. Ending relationships and leaving partners become particularly meaningful to you: you know how to properly say goodbye, even finding a certain beauty in the process.
At times, when you remember past relationships and share stories with friends, you may appear overly sentimental. But these conversations make you happy, as if you are a child marveling at their favorite fairy tale.
Self-exploitation... nothing criminal?
You truly know what your sexual partners want and need. When you are full of energy, you gladly satisfy them, which may even bring you joy. After all, being around satisfied people is very nice! It’s just that from time to time, you would really like one of them – be it one of your partners, friends, colleagues, relatives, or acquaintances – to feel you just as well as you feel them, and the same applies to sex. And not that they would just feel you, but that they would voluntarily do something for you. But most of the time, this doesn’t happen. You find it difficult to ask or even talk about your needs and wants.
You so expertly do your job making people feel good, without waiting for your own pleasure, and you play your role, to which you consciously or unconsciously agreed earlier, so flawlessly that it doesn’t even occur to your partner that something is not quite right for you. You fully realize that if you suddenly start asking or demanding something for yourself, people would be very surprised and likely have no idea what to do in such a situation. And you are apprehensive about putting others in an awkward position.
Admiration and submission
You are fascinated and captivated by the “great ones.” Check and see if you get aroused around those you admire. You know how to marvel at people sincerely – and this is a rare gift that others willingly take advantage of but don’t always appreciate. And you are also amazingly attentive and able to obey, knowing what exquisite pleasure obedience can bring to someone who loves to command and knows how to do it. This quality is why you usually have excellent relationships with your work bosses and dominant sexual partners who assert themselves at your expense. Most of the time, you let them get away with it, although you do hope that their attitude towards you will change, since you believe that your contribution is evident and undeniable.
Usually, you end up waiting forever because your partners mistake your obedience for pleasure. To be fair, you yourself tend to view your contribution as necessary so that the “nice” people around you do not get angry and stay happy. In sex, this can be dangerous because “nice” one-sided relationships are easy to get used to. Admiration for an attractive partner brings arousal and can guarantee you their affection for a time. But if you always end up having to fulfill their desires in bed, eventually you will get exhausted, no matter how much energy you have or how delighted you may have been at the start of the relationship.
Even if you know how to rest and recuperate, sooner or later it will become obvious that such a one-sided game leads nowhere. You rest, recover your energy, and start a new cycle of something you don’t really enjoy – a zero-sum game.
Unintentional self-abuse
Sometimes, when you are short on feeling joy and pleasure in life, you are visited by sadness and despair, which are so easy to succumb to. You prefer not to think about it and hope that everything will resolve on its own, although you do unconsciously realize that the decision lies in your hands. At such times, the thought of sex is uncomfortable.
If your partner demands intimacy, you freeze and object. If you manage to avoid intimacy, you feel relieved. If not, you resign yourself to the inevitable and voluntarily submit to abuse by making an inner compromise. Often, you cannot reach an orgasm because your body, thoughts, and feelings are not working together but are busy performing conflicting tasks: your body serves the sexual needs of the partner, your thoughts are looking for important decisions, and your feelings are torn between the mind and heart, finding no peace anywhere.
Strengths parties:
- Deep inner balance and the sense of “something bigger” in life, where sex is the source of on-demand pleasure.
- Natural self-regulation in all spheres of life, mastery of achieving harmony and well-being in your health, work, finances, etc. Creating comfort to attain maximum pleasure.
- Unquestioning service to a partner, knowledge of their needs, ability to give what they want and satisfy them.
- Your tendency to adapt to partners, playing along with them in their choices and gaining their loyalty through your role of “the one being led,” drives your partners to make decisions.
Vulnerable parties:
- Your interest in all things spiritual and philosophical may lead you away from your physical and emotional needs.
- From time to time, you tend to get stuck on everyday matters, and this kills romance. Don’t be surprised if your partners may consider you a bore and suddenly lose sexual interest in you.
- Over-focusing on the desires of a partner can lead to the risk of losing touch with your own needs and pleasures.
- The risk of missed opportunities due to excessive reliance on others. By playing along with the fantasies of others, you may not have time to enjoy your own pleasure.
Recommendations:
#01
However rich or poor your previous sexual experience may have been, now you give it an almost mystical meaning, finding signs that all your previous and current relationships, experiences, victories, and losses were not an accident. You may remember your exes and sexual adventures with fondness, or sadness, or even anger, placing them into the context of sophisticated, meaningful stories.
In literature and film, you find parallels with your own life. Use these stories to energize yourself; do not let yourself drift into the illusionary world filled with dreams and make-believe stories. When was the last time you’ve read a truly erotic story? Maybe you have always dreamed of writing your own? Try it, you don’t have to publish it! But it’s a really great way to experiment – half of what you’ve not had the chance to try in real life you can try virtually, inviting other people to your dream reality.
Do not ignore the power of an image or written word. To be able to seduce people through your words, through your story is truly hot! This will also help you more actively engage your body in the work of achieving pleasure and bring your sexual realm out of the shadow of other parts of your life.
#02
However, your partner’s level of sexual arousal and activity can be indicative of how comfortable they are with your particular brand of high standards and attention to detail. If your partner is just following your orders and acting predictably, maybe it’s time for a change of scenery? Traveling is a great way to introduce variety and spice into the mundane, everyday sex. A new place will refresh the senses – beautiful sights, unusual settings, and new smells and temperatures will create a fresh new mood.
Even if you endeavor to take care of your comfort in advance, you won’t be able to foresee everything. This will give your partner a chance to get out of the familiar coziness you have created and bring in an element of surprise. At the same time, you will be able to expand your criteria and add yet another destination to your “palette” for life and sex. Soon you will feel how effortlessly you can change your living conditions while also maintaining the complete satisfaction and intrigue of orgasm in an otherwise relaxed and comfortable setting.
#03
Fill your solo games with abundant fantasies and variety until you recover your natural orgasm and the ability to climax whenever you want. Maybe erotic films, sex toys, and even friendly sex with someone who understands you and is ready to support you will help create the right atmosphere. You know how to trust your body, so rely on it to bring back your natural joy in life and trust in yourself and the world.
#04
This will require slightly unusual communication: a description of what you like and what gives you pleasure and, ultimately, a climax. Learn to share the outward signs of your pleasure – let your partner see you and be aware that you are seen in your pleasure. You may have to alternate between masturbation and regular sex if your partner is not a quick study or is not willing to do what you are asking for. Your reference point will be the influx of vitality and vigor, the feeling of wellbeing in your body, and high spirits in your soul. If your partner or partners do not like the “new you,” it’s time to say goodbye.
When serving people, deep down, we know whether they deserve our service or not. If you are stuck in a relationship because of external circumstances or habit, seek a psychotherapist’s help and free yourself from this addiction – whether it’s caused by love or social situation. Expanding your sensory repertoire is worth it in any case – this will help you remove internal blocks and reconnect with yourself!
#05
Every now and then, we shift the responsibility for our pleasure to our partner, so they make the decisions or establish restrictions for us. But if you’re doing something you don’t want to, it’s time to get out of this trap! Practicing self-approval can help. Set aside a few minutes a day to say words of encouragement to yourself. You can talk affectionately about yourself or praise yourself for something specific. Accepting yourself and your right to love, tenderness, arousal, and orgasm is the basis of life. When we make choices out of this state of being, we become more true to ourselves.
