Mindfulness
only 11% can boast of this
- Energy
- Passion
- Self-Regulation
- Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the main source of your calm and wisdom. As applied to your sexuality, it creates a sense of curiosity and excitement.
People see you as a figure of authority and mystery. It is entirely up to you how you will use this image. But in doing so, keep in mind that others tend to look up to and rely on you.
With that, don’t forget that your erotic potential is just simmering below the thin surface of your restraint and respectability. You are well aware of when and how to let it rip, and this is probably why you tend to suppress your sexual urges far too often. Because sex is just a small part of life for you, you pay a lot of attention to other people, contexts, and situations that offer an opportunity for pleasure.
For you, sexual congress is not just the means to scratch an itch: it is a way to find meaning.
Your resource distribution chart
Your energy level
Your sexuality level
Your self-regulation level
Your mindfulness level
Meet your primary strength
Your confidence is threatened, as sexual partners often fail to appreciate or take your virtues seriously. You tend to doubt yourself and your strengths. You are used to being undervalued and do not notice when others use your resources and get satisfaction at your expense. Sometimes, you console yourself by believing yourself to be generous and striving to be above the fray. However, this state of affairs exhausts you, and many relationships become meaningless.
You often make choices that are not the best for you. It is possible that you consider this a mature behavior that allows you to restrain yourself. However, when it comes to sex, this tendency can lead to addiction, where your own desires do not matter to your partner – and you even accept this as par for the course! In bed, you adapt easily and are ready to adjust to any sexual style, even if you do not like it. This is why, in the hope of finding additional sources of arousal, you are open to BDSM experiments.
A constant need to express yourself and attract the attention of others can be exhausting. If you feel tired and running out of energy, test your ability to orgasm (through masturbation or with a caring partner). If you notice resistance or fatigue, pay more attention to yourself. After all, a decrease in sexual appetite may be a sign that you are just wasting your energy. It’s time to change your lifestyle and replenish your energy!
Origins and foundations
Your life story is filled with intriguing experiences each of which played its role in making you the sexual being you are today. Even if you haven’t tried absolutely everything there is out there, you may safely consider yourself an expert of your own sexual pleasure.
To be perfectly honest, many extravagant scenarios that you once have dreamed of now do not seem so enticing. You have allowed yourself to focus on a finite number of partners, positions, and exciting accessories that bring you the most pleasure. The feeling of renewal and energy boost after good sex brings you joy and a sense of wellbeing. If no partner is around, you can easily pleasure yourself without feeling that this is a worse, inadequate or sinful option. Prudishness is not your thing, certainly not in bed. You never let anyone’s opinions on yourself or your sex life affect your self-esteem or ruin your pleasure. Simply put, you do not believe that anyone’s opinion matters in such a deeply-personal area as your sexuality.
You know yourself well enough to easily navigate the calm seas of well-deserved wellbeing on a graceful ship of your “nearly attained” sexual dream.
Undervaluing yourself
You are involved in activities or relationships that are viewed as important and socially significant, but your contribution is not properly recognized. The same is true in the sexual realm, where you underestimate yourself by simply doing tasks to satisfy your partner “on demand.” It doesn’t fit your idea of a fulfilling and just life, but for now, you’ve put up with it in hopes that “time will sort things out.” Note that from other people’s point of view, everything may look okay, and, in order not to disturb your relatives’, colleagues’, or sexual partners’ sense of success, you continue to maintain the status quo. Yet, you are saddened by the way of life in which your sexual needs are ignored, even if you have enough energy and vigor to satisfy your partner.
It is hard to continue living a frustrating sex life. Perhaps the situation did not work out in your favor, and you made a mistake with your relationship, which you now regret? Or maybe the people around you fail to see your best qualities and continue to criticize you unreasonably? Whichever the case, you have come to the conclusion that you must now invest your energy and talents in something that is not really your project. Even if this project – whether a marriage, a business, or a social engagement – previously inspired you, think about it, do you now believe in what you are doing? Nothing justifies going unnoticed in such a vital part of life as intimacy and sex!
Erotic self-abuse
You seem to be used to the lack of sexual joy in your life. You explain it as a natural reaction to the sacrifices that have to be made for social recognition, work, or marriage. You have become a master of endurance! Sometimes, you just don’t think about it, and at other times, you actively convince yourself that this is how it should be. You want the decision to make itself, but subconsciously realize that you could change everything up and have a choice. In this context, sex can become an area of self-punishment where you can express your inner pain and protest, especially if it brings pleasure to the other person. Your attention shifts to the decision maker, and you feel relieved. Watching your partner make difficult decisions can turn you on and keep you feeling important.
You voluntarily abuse yourself in order to have a more intense bodily and emotional experience and explore various arousal levels. The dominant partner becomes an integral part of this experience, as they can and are willing to do that which you refuse. Their determination inspires you and creates a dramatic amalgam of pain and pleasure. This experience temporarily allows you to forget about difficult choices and responsibilities. Here, your thoughts, feelings, and body are all in the service of one passion, for the fate of which someone else is responsible. Sometimes, you reach an orgasm, sometimes you don’t, but regardless of this, this sexual routine brings you a long-awaited peace.
Your surges and arousal are brilliant but short-lived
Your ability to be aroused and move towards what you want is diminished. Instead of pleasure, you may experience premature ejaculation or vaginal cramps. This can be due to various factors, such as stress, lack of work/life balance, relationship problems, or challenging daily tasks that take up all your attention. Not surprisingly, your sex life may be less than perfect in such times.
The good news is that a more balanced lifestyle, support from others, and rest and recuperation can make all the difference. Sometimes it is enough to just hang out with a lovely friend or allow yourself to playfully masturbate while watching an erotic movie to improve your opinion of sex and yourself in it.
Strengths parties:
- Deep inner balance and the sense of “something bigger” in life, where sex is the source of on-demand pleasure.
- Great endurance and staying power, the ability to support someone else’s “projects” for a long time as they correspond to the desires and needs of your sexual partners.
- Your knack for being accommodating and easy-going, which allows your lovers to feel like they are at the head in sexual games and relationships, habitually attracts and seduces dominant partners.
- Having reached the hottest and brightest sensation, you almost instantly peter out, literally switching off. This is an excellent opportunity to rely on your partner, trusting them to take care of you at the most intimate moment.
Vulnerable parties:
- Your interest in all things spiritual and philosophical may lead you away from your physical and emotional needs.
- Self-deprecation and sensitivity to criticism.
- The habit of making choices that are not in your favor as if it were normal and does not need to be fixed; likely, a subordinate relationship with a partner.
- A sudden loss of sexual energy and physical strength after intercourse or during intense sexual practices.
Recommendations:
#01
However rich or poor your previous sexual experience may have been, now you give it an almost mystical meaning, finding signs that all your previous and current relationships, experiences, victories, and losses were not an accident. You may remember your exes and sexual adventures with fondness, or sadness, or even anger, placing them into the context of sophisticated, meaningful stories.
In literature and film, you find parallels with your own life. Use these stories to energize yourself; do not let yourself drift into the illusionary world filled with dreams and make-believe stories. When was the last time you’ve read a truly erotic story? Maybe you have always dreamed of writing your own? Try it, you don’t have to publish it! But it’s a really great way to experiment – half of what you’ve not had the chance to try in real life you can try virtually, inviting other people to your dream reality.
Do not ignore the power of an image or written word. To be able to seduce people through your words, through your story is truly hot! This will also help you more actively engage your body in the work of achieving pleasure and bring your sexual realm out of the shadow of other parts of your life.
#02
Start with simple steps – a look, a touch, some words. Allow yourself to enjoy the beautiful things around you. Touch yourself with tenderness and pay attention to your words. Learn to have pleasure in the presence of your partners. This may be new to those who are accustomed to your support and care for them, and it will attract their attention and arouse their interest. Be as connected to yourself as you are to your partners. Relax and allow yourself to step out of the “production cycle” of serving others. You will recover quickly and will be able to enjoy your pleasure on your own or with those who are ready to please you, taking into account your needs. Practicing divided attention will make it easier for you. As a result, either your partner will learn to focus on you, or you will realize that it’s time to find a different partner.
#03
In sex, this manifests through self-abuse and masochistic practices, which may bring temporary relief but not complete satisfaction. Painful activities distract you from the freedom to choose what’s actually best for you. Let your decisions be based on true pleasure, not pain. Violent games may be erotic, but only if there is explicit consent and understanding of limits. If you’re doing something you don’t want to do, it’s time to turn things around and make choices that you really enjoy.
#04
You can use affectionate words or praise for something specific. Just repeat the words “darling,” “beloved,” or “I want you,” fantasizing that they are addressed to you. It is best to say them out loud, but you can start by writing or typing them and then reading what you have written. You can also record and listen to audio, add new clips, and listen to more complex expressions to achieve the main goal – the joy of self-acknowledgement. Acceptance of yourself, of your right to caress, tenderness, arousal, and orgasm, is the foundation of life. When you make choices based on this state of being, you begin to experience yourself as the person you truly are.
#05
Experiment with trust: blindfolded, physically follow your partner playing this game within your agreed-upon rules. Ask for caresses where you are passive and try to give yourself to your leading partner with wonder and frankness. If you come up with funny or You don’t have to go to a party if you are tired or out of sorts. You’d be better off resting and choosing a different way to enjoy your leisure. You should take care of your physical strength and add regular rest periods to your daily schedule. A brief nap or meditation will help you more than trying to overcome the inner tension that prevents you from expressing yourself and attracting sexual partners. When you feel rested, arousal comes naturally and does not require any artificial boost. Pay attention to your health – and just be yourself.
