Mindfulness
only 12% can boast of this
- Energy
- Passion
- Self-Regulation
- Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the main source of your calm and wisdom. As applied to your sexuality, it creates a sense of curiosity and excitement.
People see you as a figure of authority and mystery. It is entirely up to you how you will use this image. But in doing so, keep in mind that others tend to look up to and rely on you.
With that, don’t forget that your erotic potential is just simmering below the thin surface of your restraint and respectability. You are well aware of when and how to let it rip, and this is probably why you tend to suppress your sexual urges far too often. Because sex is just a small part of life for you, you pay a lot of attention to other people, contexts, and situations that offer an opportunity for pleasure.
For you, sexual congress is not just the means to scratch an itch: it is a way to find meaning.
Your resource distribution chart
Your energy level
Your sexuality level
Your self-regulation level
Your mindfulness level
Meet your primary strength
You frequently get the urge to break out of your routine. At such a time, many plans and projects go by the wayside just because you feel the need to break loose and plunge into the vortex of passion. This impulse may also be caused by your personal, social, or professional need to prove something to someone. In sex, this tendency manifests in volatility, decisiveness, and even a certain kind of anguish, which, on the body level, translates into tension and hyperarousal. You turn a blind eye to the opinions of others and are ready or compelled to fully express yourself (and sometimes this expression may even turn out a little more dazzling than you’d wish!). This center-stage role often takes you a lot of effort and even an internal struggle, but you go for it as if this is your only opportunity to be seen. This conflicting nature of yours may prove attractive both to creative, extraordinary partners and to conscious or unconscious manipulators looking to get more than they give.
After an exceptional experience or a fabulous performance, you sometimes feel tired and empty, which diminishes your arousal or stands in the way of your orgasm. Sometimes even a sexual fantasy does not help, and, with great annoyance, you realize that “things aren’t working.
You are under the impression that after all of life’s ups and downs, all that remains is to pay up by simply doing what experienced adults tell you. It may not be very sexy, but that’s your conclusion at present. For you, sex, especially sex in a committed relationship, also resembles compulsory duty that you have learned to do dependably, without thinking that anything else may be in store for normal, honest people.
Origins and foundations
Your life story is filled with intriguing experiences each of which played its role in making you the sexual being you are today. Even if you haven’t tried absolutely everything there is out there, you may safely consider yourself an expert of your own sexual pleasure.
To be perfectly honest, many extravagant scenarios that you once have dreamed of now do not seem so enticing. You have allowed yourself to focus on a finite number of partners, positions, and exciting accessories that bring you the most pleasure. The feeling of renewal and energy boost after good sex brings you joy and a sense of wellbeing. If no partner is around, you can easily pleasure yourself without feeling that this is a worse, inadequate or sinful option. Prudishness is not your thing, certainly not in bed. You never let anyone’s opinions on yourself or your sex life affect your self-esteem or ruin your pleasure. Simply put, you do not believe that anyone’s opinion matters in such a deeply-personal area as your sexuality.
You know yourself well enough to easily navigate the calm seas of well-deserved wellbeing on a graceful ship of your “nearly attained” sexual dream.
Contradictory allure
When it comes to moral issues and your relationships with people, your life is plagued with doubts and inconsistencies. In your sex life, you often feel the desire to have pleasure and fully express yourself, even if you question the prudence of such actions. You ponder the meaning of this way of life, and these thoughts take up a lot of your time and energy. On the one hand, you feel like an experienced and confident person who deserves to get everything you want while also practicing restraint and balance.
On the other hand, external circumstances and temptations prevent you from reaching your goals, and you find yourself struggling to achieve things you see as important. Your sex appeal lies in your unique blend of confidence and passion. You are attracted to both calmness and intensity. But not everyone can decipher the reason for this attraction. You are busy building your life, but you are also ready to take risks for the sake of new adventures.
Sometimes, you get confused, not knowing who to be with. This inconsistency may attract partners who are eager to take advantage of you and are just looking for new experiences.
Inner balance and the challenges of passion
Your fortitude and inner balance are subjected not only to outbursts of passion but also to moral and ethical tests. Your sexual partners often rely on you to solve everyday problems, leaving you to worry about welfare. As long as you are interested and have the energy, you accept such a distribution of roles. However, it is worth considering how healthy this arrangement is for you. You may be used to being the one to correct the errors and missteps of others, but this may undermine your sex life. Sometimes you may feel like a rabbit worrying for absolutely no reason.
Some partners may consider you reserved, while others may feel threatened by your passion. You are looking for a person who will accept you in all your manifestations and be open to discussing them. Perhaps it is difficult for you to find such a person at present, and you are content to find partial understanding with different people. It is also possible that, due to your internal contradictions, you are simply not seeing a partner who could accept you for who you are and co-create the harmony you deserve.
Your surges and arousal are brilliant but short-lived
Your ability to be aroused and move towards what you want is diminished. Instead of pleasure, you may experience premature ejaculation or vaginal cramps. This can be due to various factors, such as stress, lack of work/life balance, relationship problems, or challenging daily tasks that take up all your attention.
Not surprisingly, your sex life may be less than perfect in such times. The good news is that a more balanced lifestyle, support from others, and rest and recuperation can make all the difference. Sometimes it is enough to just hang out with a lovely friend or allow yourself to playfully masturbate while watching an erotic movie to improve your opinion of sex and yourself in it.
Sex as a chore
Whether you like it or not, you have to do things in a socially acceptable way, but you are not sure you like it. Obediently following the instructions and demands of other people is something you know how to do well, but there is nothing exciting about it. In sex, not everyone likes obeying and following instructions since there is a minimal initiative in it and a lot of fear and passive waiting.
Some partners out there have accepted this trait of yours, that of “being led,” and these partners tend to be dominant. Think about it, and if this suits you, get the most out of games involving the submission and domination roles. Your arousal will let you know whether this is working for you. If you are just servicing your partner and sex feels like a chore, this is not what you need: sooner or later, your partner will figure out that you’re faking it, and both of you will be sad.
Fatigue tends to lead to the wrong conclusions
You may feel that you have to “behave properly” as payback for something shameful or wrong you’ve done in your life, attributing a certain mystery to the sources and reasons for not living your life as you’d like. This is why you are prone to a “redemptive” style in your relationships with partners: sometimes, you may feel shame and apologize for things that you are completely innocent of or take responsibility for the actions of others. It can be difficult for you to defend your position – it is much easier to maintain the image of a perfect adult who simply demonstrates exemplary behavior.
Instead of asking for help and relying on your partner, you tend to assert your independence and strive to look self-sufficient even when you’re on the verge of exhaustion. Most of the time, you get away with staying hidden behind this image, but this can be exceptionally difficult in bed. After all, this setting calls for sincerity and arousal, and you are too tired, just automatically doing a “chore.”
Strengths parties:
- Deep inner balance and the sense of “something bigger” in life, where sex is the source of on-demand pleasure.
- Deep and highly dramatic feelings in a sexual context; willingness to perform heroic feats even when it requires overcoming strong internal anxiety.
- You do not need to fake sexual coldness and detachment in order to attract a partner – you either really don’t feel much or you lose your sexual charge easily. But this can serve as an additional aphrodisiac for partners who are aroused by being snubbed.
- Can-do attitude, loyalty, the ability to do whatever another person may need without any unnecessary demands, if energy and physical resources are available.
Vulnerable parties:
- Your interest in all things spiritual and philosophical may lead you away from your physical and emotional needs.
- Forced self-expression or the need, both internal or external, to prove something to someone.
- Dramatic mood swings, loss of sexual desire during foreplay or during or after intercourse, inability to get aroused without special stimulants, sometimes inability to climax.
- Automatically following the instructions of significant or influential people. The risk of mental confusion and emotional dissolution when they are around, especially when tired.
Recommendations:
#01
However rich or poor your previous sexual experience may have been, now you give it an almost mystical meaning, finding signs that all your previous and current relationships, experiences, victories, and losses were not an accident. You may remember your exes and sexual adventures with fondness, or sadness, or even anger, placing them into the context of sophisticated, meaningful stories.
In literature and film, you find parallels with your own life. Use these stories to energize yourself; do not let yourself drift into the illusionary world filled with dreams and make-believe stories. When was the last time you’ve read a truly erotic story? Maybe you have always dreamed of writing your own? Try it, you don’t have to publish it! But it’s a really great way to experiment – half of what you’ve not had the chance to try in real life you can try virtually, inviting other people to your dream reality.
Do not ignore the power of an image or written word. To be able to seduce people through your words, through your story is truly hot! This will also help you more actively engage your body in the work of achieving pleasure and bring your sexual realm out of the shadow of other parts of your life.
#02
Stop regularly to talk to yourself while in meditation or on solitary walks. It may seem to you that your confusion is the norm, but in reality, you can live a fulfilling life, including in the realm of sex. Focus on your body, feel the gravity pull, and listen to your breath. This will help you reduce your internal pace and make more level-headed decisions. Pay attention to your body and enter into relationships with others only in good health.
#03
Disappointments in sex often occur due to the unworkable rhythm – when your partner has already come, and you are just starting to get there, or vice versa. Pay attention to your body when you are with your partner, or in everyday situations, or during caresses. Where is your center? If you feel it in your chest or above, this is a sign of anxiety. Focus on a more comfortable position next to your partner, set an acceptable distance, and find pleasant sensations in your body.
The practice of “lowering your center” should become a regular part of your routine. Invite a yoga instructor or a trainer in other physical disciplines and a body-oriented therapist to learn about the connection between emotions, bodily reactions, beliefs, and decisions. Remember that not all partners will be happy about the new choices you made in a better-balanced state. Take it in strides. It is crucial that the people around you really deserve your attention and are ready to share the pleasure with you. When you find pleasure through caring for your body, you will discover a new quality of life you have always strived to achieve.
#04
Emotional stress and fatigue impact your sexual response. In order not to lose strength, you need to manage your emotions through movement. Start with safe gestures alone or with a professional. You will learn that similar emotions are manifested in similar gestures. This will help you relieve the tension that builds up and prevents you from enjoying sex. Now sex will not be your only way to compensate for emotions. Once you get good at this practice, you will be able to better control your arousal and save energy to achieve orgasm.
#05
Yes, this may seem a little naïve, and you may not orgasm right away, but to see around the corner, you must first go out for a walk. You will be surprised how much joy an unaffected friend can give if you just let go of your status, age, and intelligence checklist. Do not be afraid to show your vulnerability to people who are safe for you – trust your body and intuition.
It is just possible that a seemingly trivial relationship will end up giving you moments of long-forgotten joy and demonstrate the power of trust, where you don’t have to exercise excessive control. Don’t rush such relationships, but don’t diminish them because of past experiences either. Try to live in the moment, especially since such a partner will genuinely give you their undivided attention. You will be able to relax and not think about your duties, at least while in the arms of a sweet lover. Such moments will give you the sense that life has meaning and is worth living. You will be able to trust your body more and orgasm more.
