Energy
only 12% can boast of this
- Energy
- Passion
- Self-Regulation
- Mindfulness
Energy is your main source of understanding the ebbs and flows of sexual potency and you know how to follow them.
You are a lucky optimist. Your sexuality springs from the feeling of natural energy and openness to the world.
For you, sex is a natural part of life that only logically follows a healthy body’s impulse to stay alive in all situations.
Your resource distribution chart
Your energy level
Your sexuality level
Your self-regulation level
Your mindfulness level
Meet your primary strength
When you are with simple and undemanding partners, you reach an orgasm easily and naturally. But your tendency is to fall into the orbit of charismatic, influential people who end up determining your lifestyle and activities. As soon as you are confronted with the high or unattainable demands of a figure of authority, whether in a personal or work context, your energy quickly vanishes. It is easier for you if the one who plays the leading role in the relationship directly states what needs to be done and then holds your hand and supports you as you follow their instructions. This role of a supportive teacher is easier for you to digest. But more often than not, in the presence of such a partner, you feel like a defenseless child. Your optimism evaporates, and sexual pleasure is out of the question because you just want to get away.
With your strong beliefs and principles, you often feel that you are underappreciated. However, you continue investing in relationships that fail to satisfy you. In sex, you feel tired and obligated instead of genuinely aroused. You know what turns you on, but these days, you are less and less likely to take risks and experiment. Your sexual life has become monotonous and predictable, and it does not arouse much interest or enthusiasm.
Sometimes it seems that certain events in your life happen automatically, as if you had no choice in the matter, and they occurred against your will. Despite your love of chance, your spontaneity, and your ability to go with the flow, this lack of choice can be uncomfortable. In intimate relationships, you sometimes feel doomed, as if you lost your freedom, every time you have to pretend to make a choice in favor of your partner, obey their desires, or play a passive role. At such times, it is easy to confuse your feelings with those of others, and it is very difficult to move towards your own happiness.
Your physical resource is everything to you!
You may have noticed how much your sexuality as well as your actions and moods depend on your physical strength, health, and the level of energy.
If you believe that this is true for all people, you are not entirely correct. In your case, the wellbeing of your body is a prerequisite for any undertaking, including sexual adventures. Your body practically gives you an ultimatum, and you must carefully listen to its demands. After all, if you are hungry or stuffed, if you are too hot or too cold, if the party is too loud or too boring, the very thought of sex will be unpleasant.
Luckily, you are very good at listening to your body and know your limits in every way. Generally, you acutely feel the ebbs and flows of energy and treat them as a natural occurrence that should be paid attention to. To an outsider, this peculiarity of yours may seem a bit childish and even naive, but it should actually be accepted as something natural in you, as an important and foundational personality trait. This attention to immediate experiences and sensations is incredibly valuable in sex and may bring unforgettable experiences to you and your partner.
There is always someone more "adult" out there
In your ideas about life, you are guided by the people you consider more experienced and wise. Usually, these are your relatives or people you’ve known for a while and consider an ultimate authority. Your understanding of the matters of sex also relies on their influence: openness or resistance to sexual experience, standards of beauty or interpretation of decency, etc.
Even if you are not all that much younger, and sometimes even older than others, there is always someone around you who you see as a “pro” in sex. Your own sexual experience seems to you insufficient to have a decisive opinion in such a delicate matter. Overall, you view yourself as a somewhat naive and romantic individual who lacks the courage to realize most of their erotic fantasies. You are afraid of public opinion regarding sexual behavior and would not want to be under the scrutiny of someone older and more influential, even if you have done nothing wrong.
Who is in your immediate orbit? If your sexual partner tends to dominate, you submit to them without any pushback, even though you may feel a loss of energy and power in such a relationship. Whether your partner’s demands are in the realm of sex, work, or household chores, you tend to go into a tailspin, feeling ashamed and trying, unsuccessfully, to gather your thoughts and feelings in order to meet the criteria that are not entirely clear to you. From such a partner, you expect both mercy and punishment, constantly trying to anticipate their desires in order to avoid their anger or judgment. If your partner is not so powerful as to terrify you, your arousal comes back as soon as you rest and relax.
For your body to awaken to pleasure, you need tenderness and peace. You are satisfied with completely innocent caresses and light touches. Pushiness and pressure can easily extinguish your “mood,” while romanticism and erotica, in contrast, can generate an unbridled passion. However, in this case, you may worry about how appropriately and “decently” you behave in bed. Shyness seems to be your constant companion and part of your image.
Anticipation and erotic rebirth
Despite your experience with sex and the full understanding of what satisfies you, you have a tendency to limit your erotic repertoire. The reason for this self-imposed constraint may be the external and internal failure to recognize what you bring to the relationships with your partners. In your dealings with people who are important to you, you endeavor to maintain high moral and ethical standards, and in doing so, you are willing to wait for them to see and appreciate you.
While waiting to get what you want, you may be losing the vital emotional and physical resources needed to create a joyous, erotic mood. Your interaction with your partners tends to become formal and dull, and the intensity of passion and arousal vanishes. Remember how you used to look forward to sex and enjoy the foreplay and orgasm? If now these words annoy you, you may consider changing your lifestyle and reclaiming your sexuality.
Unintentional self-abuse
Sometimes, when you are short on feeling joy and pleasure in life, you are visited by sadness and despair, which are so easy to succumb to. You prefer not to think about it and hope that everything will resolve on its own, although you do unconsciously realize that the decision lies in your hands. At such times, the thought of sex is uncomfortable.
If your partner demands intimacy, you freeze and object. If you manage to avoid intimacy, you feel relieved. If not, you resign yourself to the inevitable and voluntarily submit to abuse by making an inner compromise. Often, you cannot reach an orgasm because your body, thoughts, and feelings are not working together but are busy performing conflicting tasks: your body serves the sexual needs of the partner, your thoughts are looking for important decisions, and your feelings are torn between the mind and heart, finding no peace anywhere.
Strengths parties:
- Trust in your body and natural impulses for arousal, the ability to quickly restore your energy and positive outlook when the necessary resources – sleep, food, access to nature and regular rest – are available.
- Following traditions and time-tested principles that come from a significant person in your life, even if it requires effort and takes a lot of energy. Selflessness and loyalty in a relationship with a partner.
- The ability to patiently do things that others overlook, including sex as a marital du.
- Your tendency to adapt to partners, playing along with them in their choices and gaining their loyalty through your role of “the one being led,” drives your partners to make decisions.
Vulnerable parties:
- The risk of being a “bird in a golden cage” – dependence on the availability of resources and the people who own them.
- In self-regulation, i.e. health, appearance, practical daily self-organization, etc., dependence on the position of the partner, on their attention and care.
- Belittlement of your own sexual experiences, detachment in sex, and unexpressed grief.
- The risk of missed opportunities due to excessive reliance on others. By playing along with the fantasies of others, you may not have time to enjoy your own pleasure.
Recommendations:
#01
Rely on your own sense of enjoyable effort rather than on outside sources, such as advice from ambitious friends, random books, websites, or charismatic instructors. Others may indulge in long sleepless nights of partying or try shock diets, burn the candle at both ends with sex in the workplace or follow ascetic spiritual practices to achieve ecstasy.
But none of these radical approaches on the verge of exhaustion are for you! Any physical overload will take away your joy of full-fledged sexuality and may even prevent you from orgasming. If you need the help of a person of authority to recover, choose a specialist from a supportive profession, such as a family therapist or coach, who will not pressure you but will be considerate and caring. Only in an atmosphere of trust with another person will you truly feel what is good for you.
The same principle also applies to sexual relationships. Sometimes friendly sex can heal, so don’t ignore this option but also don’t feel obligated to pay for such healing with eternal devotion.
#02
Perhaps the main thing for you is finding a fitting rest/activity schedule and places in nature that will give you a sense of peace, harmony, and well-being. Without such a connection, your powers will tend to dwindle. It is important to regularly come into contact with nature, of whichever diverse kind.
Wherever you are and no matter how urban or industrial your environment, take the time to contemplate the natural landscape and living plants, play with animals and spend time with simple, authentic people. Even if creating such a lifestyle takes time and money, it is worth it. You and your partners will gain access to an unforgettable erotic experience and a new quality of life full of pleasure.
#03
Try to spend more time in nature, especially if there is a lot of tension in your life caused by demanding or authoritative people or challenging sexual partners. Learn to relax, letting go of unnecessary thoughts and emotions, like you relax when taking a bath.
All things oppressive and inexplicable should leave you and stop weighing you down. If stubborn thoughts, other people’s judgments, or beliefs still bother you, find the strength to write them down and seek help from a specialist or a kind, more experienced friend. They will help you figure out what is and isn’t worth being afraid of, how to overcome real difficulties, what exactly is your responsibility, and what is the responsibility of other people or partners. Do not disregard depression, sadness, or long periods of feeling blue, even if you have become accustomed to them.
In your case, this may be a signal of greater danger than it would be for your more confident friends. Take advantage of solitude or the company of people who pay exclusive attention to you and not to themselves or somebody else. In certain circumstances, a massage or spa treatment or discussing your life with your beloved girlfriend or boyfriend is the best medicine. If you are stuck in a bad mood or driven to despair, your thoughts and beliefs should be reviewed with the help of a supportive professional.
Most likely, your natural optimism is systematically depleted not only due to the influence of other people but also because you took their worldview too close to heart. It is worth taking some of your inner stances and rules with a grain of salt. Free yourself from their pressure!
#04
It is your well-being that makes you a bottomless wellspring in relationships with sexual partners and other people. When you feel a loss of energy or physical discomfort, this is your signal for immediate action. This means, first and foremost, getting away from the influence or pressure of people or circumstances. You have to master the art of avoidance. Allow yourself this little trick to restore your optimism and preserve your vitality. If such a recommendation seems trivial, remember situations when your health got out of control and what it took you to recover. Test your body’s sexual readiness by masturbating. If you manage to arouse yourself, things are not so bad.
#05
Signs of attention, gratitude, and appreciation show you that you are cherished and surrounded by love and respect. Focus on what you do for others but don’t forget to pause briefly to praise yourself. Appreciation works wonders, and there’s nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back from time to time. Do not rush to be distracted if others fail to notice your contribution. Stop for a moment, relax, and commend yourself in the presence of your partner. This will make them notice you and react. Gradually, you will observe how gratitude and appreciation in your life start growing. Regardless of your partner’s reaction, you will feel a marked improvement in your levels of well-being and self-confidence. And with them, playfulness, curiosity, and variety in sex will return.
#06
In sex, this habit can manifest through self-abuse, masochism, or self-punishment – all things that distract us from free choice. Every now and then, we shift the responsibility for our pleasure to our partner, so they make the decisions or establish restrictions for us. But if you’re doing something you don’t want to, it’s time to get out of this trap! Practicing self-approval can help. Set aside a few minutes a day to say words of encouragement to yourself. You can talk affectionately about yourself or praise yourself for something specific. Accepting yourself and your right to love, tenderness, arousal, and orgasm is the basis of life. When we make choices out of this state of being, we become more true to ourselves.
