Self-Regulation
only 7% can boast of this
- Energy
- Passion
- Self-Regulation
- Mindfulness
Self-regulation is the main source of your confidence and sexual experience.
At some point, you must’ve set aside your previous adventures as they did not fit well with your work and other important life priorities.
However, in your current relationship, you have retained everything you need to have fun. The memory of past exploits is still fresh and it is quite enough for your pride and self-confidence.
You are content with yourself and manage to find time for sex, although you admit that the variety of erotic experiences has narrowed lately.
Your resource distribution chart
Your energy level
Your sexuality level
Your self-regulation level
Your mindfulness level
Meet your primary strength
You rejoice when you are admired and considered an extraordinary person. You realize that you deserve such an attitude and take the attention of the opposite sex for granted, especially if it comes from those partners you consider attractive. You know how to use flirting not only for establishing sexual ties but also for creating social and professional connections. However, you are aware that this lifestyle has its shadow side. Sometimes at the most inopportune moment, you can feel a sudden loss of energy, which can dishearten you and astound others. After all, they see you as a leader, an instigator of events, and a successful partner. But you keep this secret close to your chest, carefully guarding your status and reputation, which are partly determined by your sexual success.
Such a loss of energy can shock you, sometimes making it impossible for you to experience pleasure or even leading to illness. To recover and be back “in the saddle” again, you need time and/or special care from your partner. You may have to choose between keeping the “show” going as planned, that is, to continue engaging, managing the processes, and even maintaining your sexual activities, and actually enjoying what’s going on! Unfortunately, you’ve managed to pretty much get used to such a state of things and now see the energy drain as a natural occurrence. This is dangerous for your sex life in that you may unconsciously begin to avoid sexual relations, seeing them as too exhausting, and justify it with certain reasons of morality, all while also judging your more erotically active partners.
Sometimes, you need to break out of your daily routine and tasks. At such a time, plans can shift as you feel the need to break loose and plunge into the vortex of passion and pleasure. You seek thrills and quick gratification to make up for the missing joy. In sex, this tendency manifests in volatility, decisiveness, and even a certain anguish, which translates into sexual arousal. Occasionally, you need to prove your worth to yourself and others. Be careful! Your conflicting nature may attract all sorts of partners – both the creative, extraordinary ones and the manipulators looking to get more than they give.
You will be content with very little… As long as it's the best there is
Your sexual style is linked to and, to a certain degree, is defined by your social standing. You are turned on not just by your partners’ looks or personality but also by their position in society.
Your attraction is tied to business success, wealth, family, education, and ability to manage and influence the world. Social status is your aphrodisiac! You are attracted to partners who have tangible and intangible assets, professional skills, and valuable things.
To interest you, a partner must be creating or changing something. You appreciate action, talent, and influence in various fields, whether it be art, science, sports, or volunteering. You are curious about your partner’s opinions on various topics, including sex. You do not tolerate boredom, monotony, and passivity – to you, they are indicators of foolishness.
Failing is not sexy
Your unhappiness with yourself because of a supposedly low job performance or weakness undermines your self-confidence and the sense of being sexually attractive. You have begun to get used to the constant energy drain and living with fatigue.
Sometimes, the topic of sex can even annoy you, and the state of your health or lack of energy can fill you with fear and uncertainty. It seems that your inner high standards and, possibly, external circumstances and environment demand that you do the impossible. Sensuality, beauty, sex, and desire may seem like the “vestiges of the happy past,” mere memories…
Your strict inner judge, social conditions, or someone’s external authority do not allow you to turn the situation in your favor. Feeling like you’re giving in to life’s relentless demands can be poisonous, and at such times you may even deny yourself all joy and pleasure, not seeing friends, ignoring lovers, and not even masturbating. It’s like a naughty child being punished by an angry and tired parent who, having gotten pissed off at work, now takes it out on the kid for absolutely no reason. You use this mechanism to push and force yourself into doing what you must, all the while forbidding yourself any enjoyment.
When a ship springs a leak, it's time for a safe harbor
Although you have mastered the art of making the right decisions for yourself based on what you really want, from time to time, you may find yourself not having enough energy and time to bring your plans to fruition, especially on the sexual front.
On the one hand, your work tasks involve a high level of responsibility, which is exciting to you in its own way. Moreover, your professional context brings in new acquaintances and provides the opportunity to test potential partners, at least mentally! This drives you to frenzied activity full of temptations, but it is also full of routine. That’s why sometimes you almost unconsciously ignore certain tasks as you are forced to recoup some of your energy and available resources.
It is also difficult for you to complete the projects you have already started, and even a perfectly conceived erotic encounter may not go according to plan, when by the end of the evening or date, it gets hard for you to enjoy yourself – you simply run out of juice. Your desire and feeling of control over the events evaporate, and at that moment, all you really want is to lean weakly against someone’s trusty shoulder, to rely on the support of a friend or partner who will wrap everything up for you!
In fact, at such a moment, you need someone to take care of you completely, including taking care of your orgasm. Instead of realizing your brilliant leadership potential, inspiring and arousing others, you want to hide. You reproach yourself for this immaturity, this inability to live up to the expectations of lovers and close friends, believing it to be infantile.
Blissful heart and a little pause
It appears that you may have an internal conflict between your ideas about the right way of life and things that you actually enjoy. You often put pleasure on the back burner, focusing instead on business and obligations. Your beliefs play an essential role in your life, but they don’t always help you find happiness in sex, intimacy, or sources of joy. You are surrounded by many exciting people and events that attract your attention, but you do not always have enough energy to participate in them and have fun. Sometimes you challenge yourself by comparing yourself with others and trying to catch up.
Even when trying to break loose and enjoy the fun times at parties, with new acquaintances, or in sexual experiments, you still do not feel completely satisfied. You often scold yourself for such transgressions that do not bring back your joy and energy. In addition, you are afraid that your reputation may suffer, and that worry only increases your internal tension and restraint.
Riding the wave of pleasure with pros
After a stressful day, when all the tasks are completed and you want to relax, you feel like a certain kind of excitement is missing from your life. You are drawn to spontaneous adventures, perhaps to fit in with fashion or the habits of others. You join a group of friends hoping to get a dose of the smiles, excitement, and fun that they share.
You ask yourself: what do they draw their joy from? Who are they smiling at and what are they laughing about? Sometimes you manage to catch a crumb of their excitement, and you are grateful for the pleasure. But at the same time, you feel like you can’t always control your own pleasure.
This is why you tend to trust professionals in this field and, from time to time, and even more often lately, turn to their services. After all, they know precisely how to get you to come!
Strengths parties:
- High self-confidence combined with adequate self-criticism; the experience of “being loved” and the ability to naturally perceive other people’s sexual interest towards yourself.
- The ability to feel uplifted and even aroused in a work setting, which helps achieve meaningful social goals.
- Following established traditions and time-tested principles that come from a significant person in your life, even if it requires effort and takes a lot of energy. Potentially, serving your partner for the sake of these principles. Voluntary self-sacrifice.
- Healthy automatic compensation; after prolonged internal struggles, the need to discharge sexual energy wins out.
Vulnerable parties:
- Unwitting egocentrism, a tendency to fall into the trap of power and personal importance, where, once there, you inevitably have a blind spot with respect to the real interests and needs of others.
- Self-blame in the event of a sudden loss of energy during your sexual exploits and/or work projects;
- Devaluation of yourself in relationships with partners, often unspoken need for them to take the leading role in order to achieve orgasm or complete the projects you started.
- Potential confusion regarding the management of personal resources: physical health, finances, and time.
- Getting your sexual needs met only as an afterthought, “as leftovers” once all other life tasks are completed.
Recommendations:
#01
Your business activities can sometimes overshadow your romantic meetings, and this can have a negative impact on your loved ones and yourself. Don’t risk forgetting what unbridled passion, the joy of caresses, orgasm, and emotional release feel like. Also, keep in mind that your partners may have a different sexual rhythm and different desires in sex. To resolve this potential disparity, have a playful conversation and try scheduling your dates in advance, in a calm setting. If your partner does not want to openly discuss their needs, relying instead on spontaneity, or finds conversations about intimate matters unacceptable, remember that the best impromptu events tend to be well-prepared! Ask questions, share your desires – find out about their preferences in sex, how long they like their foreplay to be, their orgasms, the things that arouse them, preferred lubricants, hygiene, fantasies, etc. It will help you better plan your trysts and create pleasure for both. A conscious approach to sex is the key to success in a couple!
#02
But let’s ask ourselves this: what do we know about our partner’s experiences when they are alone and are aroused or having an orgasm? It is good and right to talk to your partner now and then about what brings them joy or gets in the way of their climax in different situations, whether it be with us, with someone else, or alone. In sex, even with a regular partner, things shift: sexual preferences can change, and new desires may emerge. It is critical to notice these subtle changes to strengthen the bond with your partner and find even more pleasure in every situation. Together we create unforgettable moments!
#03
This payment doesn’t have to be in cash; it can also be in time, effort, attention, and support. What in your partner’s behavior do you feel is worthy of admiration? What traits are you willing to “pay” for? Their stance, look, touch? A long foreplay or a mind-blowing orgasm?
This sexy “bookkeeping” will help you honestly assess and appreciate yourself and your partners. It will also help you make important decisions, part with “cheap” contacts, and maintain precious relationships. And it’s not just about money; it is also about how you value various manifestations, from bodily and emotional experiences to decisions, actions, and beliefs.
Learn the trick of evaluating and appreciating your own and your partner’s “investment” and enjoy yourself!
#04
Don’t worry, you recover quickly, but taking the time to take care of the basics is crucial. Take the risk of slowing down a bit and focusing on the quality rather than the quantity of sex. You will be surprised at how your experience will become richer when you nourish your body with adequate sleep, water, nutritious food, and physical activity. Sounds boring? The choice is yours!
But these recommendations will help you when you’re feeling fatigued.
Set aside time for sleep and for the process of falling asleep; make it magical and enchanted. Morning moments of arousal also take time – put it on your calendar. Incorporate “sexual touches” into your routine, reserving special time around sleep – intimate hygiene, “self-massage,” and toys will help you relax in the evening and wake up cheerfully in the morning.
Even if you are in a relationship, keep back some time around sleep for yourself, at least occasionally – this will help you maintain your freedom and individuality. Just undressing and going to bed, getting up and dressing is not enough.
#05
Make it a habit to catch your breath, sit or stand comfortably, and move around as soon as you feel uncomfortable – give yourself a few minutes before returning to a conversation or interaction with a partner. Bodily balance and decent health are a good sign that you should stay with a person. If you are pressured, judged, or for some other reason feel lost and confused in the presence of another person, use your right to shift your body or attention, step aside, break the contact, and return to the conversation when you have regained your balance.
Otherwise, you face a severe energy drain, especially if this authority figure is your sexual partner, close relative, or colleague. Exercise, showers, or a few squats will help you reconnect with your body when in the presence of the world’s know-it-alls, “commanding officers,” or influential people. These demigods have no right to completely control you. Take care of yourself!
#06
You sense competition from other people, whether they be partners, colleagues, or lovers, and you want to surpass them in all areas of life, including the dance floor and bed. But for some reason, you feel dissatisfied and critical of yourself for this ambition.
Try to figure out if you really enjoy the extreme style of pleasure that you practice or other people offer you. Create a “Like/Dislike” to rank different places, dates, people, and sexual practices. Discard what you don’t like and do what brings you pleasure.
#07
If you are inclined to self-judgment after a mistake, try to justify your actions by completing a phrase, in writing, “I did this by choice.” This will help you restore your balance and self-respect based on self-understanding and self-acceptance. If you need support, turn to a wise, calm person, maybe an older, more experienced friend.
But the best way to deal with your beliefs is to connect to a therapist or coach with whom you can openly discuss the issue you are stuck on. If you have conflicts in your sex life, you can consult a sexologist. But more often than not, limiting beliefs come from our childhood or adolescence and can be overcome through regular psychotherapy.
